An auto updating site for my good friend Adam’s musical project ‘American Tomahawk.’

An small and simple site for one of the most brilliant sound producers in the U.S.

A simple splash page for Stephen’s band ‘A Mouthful of Thunder.’ Video by Luca Venter.

A placeholder site for the poster printing company i sometimes work for. New site in production.

Lately i have been asking myself this question constantly. I know that i work, and i know that i’m good at it, but i’m not sure WHY I do.

I am sure there is a call in all of us to aspire to greatness, but what happens when that obsession is to prove to ourselves we are worth something?

–

A while ago i watched The Social Network. If you haven’t seen it i highly recommend it. I’m about to do some light spoiling for you, so if you haven’t seen it, just know that i’m not really ruining anything, as the movie is not exactly a “big reveal” kind of movie.

The Social Network is essentially about Mark Zuckerberg. It’s probably a little bit about Facebook, but what i saw in it was a brilliant documentation of the mind of a creator.

Opening the movie is a scene of Mark out with his lady friend, Erica. During their conversation Mark is obsessed with picking the right “club” to join on campus, and disregards her attempt of connection with him in order to focus on what will make him “cool.” Erica (seemingly have had been through this many times before) decides to break up with Mark.

This is important because it give Mark’s “why.” Before Facebook and Justin Timberlake, Mark is obsessed. Not with work, the internet, or even with programming, but with acceptance (at least the idea of it).

–

A little over a year ago, I went through a tough breakup. I’ve tried really hard to act like it never happened or to gloss over all of the bummer times, but the truth is that it was hard, and it knocked me out of my flow for about three months.

I think the reason i tried to avoid talking about it (besides that the internet is at max quota for whiners.) is that it gave me an immense amount of my drive, and admitting that is a scary thing.

Breaking up is difficult; when your basis of reality is shaken everyone tells you to work out, and work hard, keep moving, and stay near people, but no one ever says “take your time and grieve.” The hard reality is that i learned how to code in three months because i needed something to focus on. Since i launched this site (about a year ago at this point) I’ve launched (on average) 1.7 sites a month. That is not efficient, that is an addiction.

I have been working for so long to get my mind off of that pain that long after the pain subsided my work continued to be my “safe place.” That is my “why.” It’s in my work that i can say “look everyone, i can do something, i’m not such a screw up.” It’s in my work that i can control my life, and in that same control I lose sight of what work (and my life) is about.

–

In the final scenes of the The Social Network, Mark Zuckerberg is working alone, and Rashida Jones (who btw is a total babe) reaches out and shares that she too had become obsessed with work because of a rejection that happened. Mark shrugs it off, and at this point, the viewer is left with a feeling of pity for Mark. Instead of reaching out towards the community around him, Mark counter-intuitively spent all of his time creating something that would prove to everyone that he deserved a community around him.

Ironically, Mark had spent his life pushing people that loved him away in favor for work, in hopes that that very work would give him some validation that he deserved to be loved.

Mark’s “why” became a vicious cycle of “lose friends » work more,” and when he reached the end of the movie, he had no one to share his ideas with. The last scene really hit me, because sometimes i see me in that chair, working alone, thinking “this will make me important” with every pen stroke, and it is a dangerous place to be.

I think sometimes I focus so hard on what I’m making of myself that i separate myself from the community i am looking to connect with in the first place.

Mark and I both learned the hard way that what you do is important, but it’s not nearly important as the people around you. By stepping back I finally realize that its not my work, but my vulnerability that makes me a good friend.

Surround yourself with people you love and get to work.
Not because it makes you important, but because you are important.

First off, I finally bit the bullet and started using my twitter. follow @danielevangarza if you’d like to read stupid things I say more often than when I post them on facebook. I also started using Dribbble. Follow me there if you do that sort of thing.

- – -

Mid July, my buddy justin from CU’s Program council asked me to design their giveaway tees (you can see em here) which has been our deal for the past three years. Justin’s pretty much the best guy and gave me creative license, so I made these awesome boombox bruiser guys. It was a great time for everyone, but I was kinda unsatisfied. See, sometimes when I design something for shirts, I wish it was for print so I could max out the colors. This was one of those times.

So. I made a poster. A really, really cool poster that I thought Program Council & the bands (and subsequent management) would really enjoy. Lets go ahead and fast forward to when I send the poster to the management of the bands (under a bcc no less) as a gift with print files and everything.

This was my mistake. This was my stupid, stupid mistake.

I’m sure in college they tell all the students to respect branding guidelines, event coordinators, maybe even to “dumb down” a design to fit mass appeal. I have never been told that. Unfortunately my naivety came to fruition when I received a reply from one of the promoters. They were unhappy and they were panicking. See, when you bcc your recipients with your content, they don’t see how many people it goes to. In their heads my 5 recipient email was a thousand person email-blast. That’s not good. This is when this turns into a learning experience.

Let me say that I don’t make too many mistakes. I make very, very calculated decisions so that I don’t appear like the self taught newb that I feel like I am. So when I’ve suddenly angered the biggest client of my friend at CU with a well-intentioned, but stupid gesture, I have no experience with damage control. I have no idea how to fix this.

- – -

I’d like to pause here and recall a moment of anger I had with my good friend Luca Venter. Luca had graciously filmed an acoustic take-away show of my band, and (much like me in my recent ‘mistake’) had been well intentioned with his gift, but didn’t “give it to me the right way.” I got upset at him for not listening not following branding things or chatting with me before launching, or whatever (i can’t really remember now), but the point is that getting upset with him for not giving me something the “right way” was stupid and callous of me.

When someone gives you something, it means they used their abilities to benefit you. If it’s a high-schooler that made a 72dpi flyer for your upcoming show, or a friend who made you ugly business cards to help your new business out, they tried to help. And therein lies what I learned from making a mistake:

Sometimes the desire to appear like we’ve “got it all together” gets in the way of recognizing that some people care about you, and are trying to help. When we use the opinions or requirements of others to justify being ungrateful to people who are trying to hook us up, we get callous. A simple “thank you, but we’ve already got this covered” makes all the difference for the newbs (like myself) that are just trying to figure out how this all works.

- – -

The end of the story is that my friend Justin stepped in and resolved everything with grace, and taught me how to handle big-kid mistakes.

At the end of the day, I made a poster that wasn’t in their guidelines, and used a bcc to freak them out, neither of which I will ever do again. I will also never again get upset with someone for not helping me the “right way.”

5 new projects today at the work page & four new downloads. check it out.

I’m both excited and frightened thinking about the upcoming launch of All Of Our Friends. We’ve set up a Twitter and a Tumblr as a sort of interim while we get the rest of the site up and running. If you do either of those things, you should follow along, it’s going to be quite a ride.

One thing I’ve seen lately that has been really inspirational was this video from The 99% conference by Seth Godin:

Seth talks about the importance of “shipping,” and well-timed “thrashing”. I think that often times I’ll get 90% finished with a project and then I’ll just tear myself down, thinking that I am not improving as quickly or as well as I should be. this video, however, was really inspiring to me, as it focused on “shipping,” or DOING something.

I love that idea. I feel like it gives me the extra push necessary to believe in what I’m doing, and recognize that I need to DO things, regardless of their acceptance.

–

I have always been focused on reversing the “freshman-year” feeling that it’s not ok to be “learning” anymore. I’ve always disagreed with the “fake it till you make it” lifestyle because I’ve thought that when the designer is disingenuous in the creative process, the work suffers. It’s ironic then, that I am consistently harder and harder on myself, instead of focusing on “doing and moving.”

Truth is, after not being accepted for some advertising positions in town I find myself clawing at my abilities, trying to make myself more “sell-able,” and the pressure to inflate my pursuits has never been stronger. I am always curious as to what the “right” way to represent one’s self in the advertising/design world is.

So. I guess I have been focused too much on “doing it right the first time,” and not enough of “just doing it.” 99% perspiration, people. Nike’s got it right.

–

otherwise, I’ve been working so much. I’ve got a few posters to show pretty soon, but I’ll save that for the next post.

below is a recent ad run I did for my band’s set at the UMS. I printed a bunch of transparencies with some mustaches on em. Really satisfying when someone ASKS you for a flyer from your back pocket. Fun times.

Hope you’re well.

I’ve updated with three updates to the work page. I’m starting to recognize that pretty soon i’ll have to prune my work into my ‘best work’ in order to keep my portfolio nice and neat. I suppose that’s what a portfolio is supposed to be.

I also put a new download up, it’s of some wolves and foxes i sketched up when i was trying to find the concept for the To The Big River poster. They’re pre-edit, but should be a great start for anyone using them.

–

I don’t know where i read it, but the most inspiring thing i’ve read in quite some time has been the idea of “creating” one’s future. Essentially the idea is that we all have a dream job, and we usually work for it and/or apply for it, but rarely does the idea come up to create it. Creating the future you want to live in is such an amazing concept to me, because i have a habit of “falling into” things. I “fell” into music, “fell” into design, etc.

Being intentional with every move/job/idea we have opens up the potential to sway our lives in the direction we want them to go in. Isn’t that an amazing concept?

i’ve been feeling like momentum is starting to grow this past month. I’m so, so very excited to unleash All Of Our Friends and i’m about three projects from pouring every minute i have into it. I think that it can help create a positive, fulfilling future for me, and all of my friends. That’s the aim, at least.

–

A recent find of mine is the blog of Jon Acuff (Of Stuff Christians Like fame). Jon says things i have been trying to put into words for years, and he does it SO eloquently. Check it out if you’re unemployed, un-motivated, or just looking to get excited about your opportunities. His views on inherent potential are VERY inspiring.

I can’t wait to share some projects that are currently “under wraps.” It’s going to be an amazing summer.

I hope you’re having a great week.

I was listening to this itunes originals thing for Death Cab For Cutie and in one of the tracks, Ben Gibbard said something that really resonated with me:

“I think that earlier on I would wait for the moment to hit me and then feel really inspired, you know, THEN pick up a guitar, and THEN try to write a song. But, in recent years, i’ve found myself just making an effort just to get up in the morning and work on music, and TRY to write something. It can be a very difficult kind of roller coaster ride to be on when you spend all day and all your efforts trying to make something work, and it doesn’t work. It’s the worst feeling in the world, because you leave that day of work or that day of writing, (or attempting to write), just going ‘am I ever going to write a song again’ you know, “have I bottomed out?” or whatever. And then the next day you write something you’re really happy with and you’re on top of the world.

And that’s always the drive, you know, is just to continue experiencing that moment of satisfaction and elation when you finish something you’re really proud of”

About a month ago I kind of fell off the planet. I had a client who required a more-than-normal amount of revisions, and I realized that I had not been producing as much as I was used to, and that was all it took to knock me out of a flow (and thusly into an ebb).

For-client work is a tricky world for me. On one hand I have a person coming to me because they trust my artistic view on things. On the other hand, if my client wants something changed, I change it (after all, they are paying me to). In my opinion, this back and forth is what wears creatives down the most.

We are taught to be emotionally disconnected from our designs, but to pour every bit of ability we have into them. We are essentially trained to be vicarious creativity, and that is a painful realization to occasionally have; “this person wants me to design this because he doesn’t know how to use illustrator, not because I am a designer with ideas. they don’t care amount my creativity, just my creative ability.” It can be a little much at times.

The more I thought about it, my little “ebb” started to grow. I began questioning my abilities, I reviewed all of my work and felt like it was amateur, and watched the success of my friends and started to compare mine to theirs. In short, I started to get antsy.

This happens from time to time. I think if everyone is honest, we can all agree that we all can get to this place. Suddenly I was asking all the questions Ben had mentioned in that quote. “Have I bottomed out?” I had ebbed before, so the question I always asked myself was “am I REALLLY trying?” and suddenly Ben Gibbard’s words echoed in my head. I had been doing the amount of work necessary for the job, not necessary for my satisfaction. I was stuck thinking something “might” get sent back. Something “might” be a waste of time.

–

So. there I was, in an “ebb,” having trouble opening illustrator, having trouble focusing on my to-do list, and the lack of motivation was a snowball. So, I pulled a Ben Gibbard, and I decided to just start working. I decided to wake up and “Just start drawing something, anything.”

I started on a vector of an elk, and then I moved on to some wolves, and then to foxes, and then I was doing shirt designs for friends, and then album covers, and then I started making posters, websites, more shirts, etc. None of it paid, none of it was for anything other than me, and it all filled me up. Then I realized my real problem that led to my “ebb;” I had stopped working because it “might” not pay, or it “might” not be approved, and in that mentality, I had stopped advancing.

The problem with “mights” is that we (as creatives) usually only see the negative of it. We “might” get stiffed, we “might” have to compromise our design past what makes us comfortable, we “might” waste time on a project and a better one “might” come along.

What we fail to see is that we “might” create something better than we’ve ever made, we “might” be freed from our boundaries, we “might” create something we’re incredibly proud of.

I encourage you (reader of this blog) to do something that might make you proud.

Notice that there is a ‘might’ there, accept the risk, and get to work. Maybe it’s something you haven’t done in a while, or maybe it’s something you used to do everyday. Whether it’s crocheting a hand towel, designing a new website for your studio, or even just alphabetizing your DVD collection, do something that “might” make you proud of yourself.

You’ll find your ‘ebbs’ disappear before you know it.

–

here are some recent posters i’ve finished, that I made because they “might” turn out well:

here’s an excerpt of what i had to say:

why do so many students in art programs seem to resent those eager and excited to learn, share, and succeed, and want to bring them down?

Speaking purely subjectively, i think that this is a foundational issue with self-loathing. We are all raised with an inherent pressure to “make something of ourselves,” so when we don’t push ourselves we become defensive of our stagnant lifestyle because we loathe our lack of motivation. Motivation, drive, and goals are all sexy traits of healthy people.

I think deep down everyone wants to be successful, but it’s like going to the gym or changing your diet. It’s not “cool” to eat healthily, or take care of our bodies; it’s “cool” to stay up and party. But calling someone a “health nut” or trying to downplay the inherent good of setting & achieving goals only achieves one thing: complacency. It might hurt the motivated person in the short run, but in the grand scheme of things, they are fit, healthy, and will age better than the person who is mocking them.

With that metaphor in mind, The people that work until 4am every night are not “cool.” In fact, in most societal constructs, they are crazy. but they are the people that that will have higher success, they are well aware of trends & timeless art, and their art will age better than the people mocking them.

It’s not rocket science; it’s p90x. if you diet and exercise you will look and feel good. if you stay on your couch and make fun of people trying things, you will stay on your couch.

Read the post here, and if you feel so inclined, leave a response.

So this last weekend i had the opportunity to be a part of the ATA Clothing spring line launch. My friends Jess & Cody put on an amazing launch. The thing I really respect about All The Above is that they focus their clothing on supporting non-profits with positive visions. It was surreal to see the wide audience that a clothing line can draw in.

I’ll be posting my new non-profit design when they do a photo shoot for it but until then here’s a ‘reel’ of some of my recent and for-sale designs:

Artist Desktops is the project of photographer Nate Larson. I was lucky enough to be featured this past weekend. Check it out, and if you’re on tumblr ‘follow’ em.

(btw, my wallpaper is made from a wallpaper by BikerScout on deviantArt that i found and modified.

Purple Row was really nice and wrote a little shout out in today’s blog post. You can read it here. You can also visit the logo page to get a better look of the logo.

I really can’t believe it’s may already. I had so many aspirations for winter and i only completed three of them. I suppose that’s a much better track record than not having/trying for ANY goals. Still, it’s hard to be excited when i have 0/3 projects launched that i had planned on.

Over the break I also got around to “launching” All Of Our Friends, Which is my (musical) artist representation agency. Essentially a one-stop for design, photography, video, web, merch, and even recording. It’s just a splash page as of now, but keep your eyes on it, we should be expanding very soon. i’ve already gotten some interest from some locals, so that’s neat and makes me more and more excited for this summer. If you’ve got some spare time, “Like” us on facebook.

Other than that, my goals for the next few weeks are to make a ‘Beginners Guide to Customizing Indexhibit‘ and to start production on some new prints (i’d love to have a “store” link up there, next to downloads – i uploaded three new downloads this week btw). I can’t wait to add all of my new projects for All The Above Clothing, Which i should be allowed to release this weekend. If you’re not doing anything this weekend you should attend the Launch Party, Where a few of my designs will be featured & for sale.

Also I remembered that i made a quick design guide for screen printing. You can download it by clicking on this image of it: It’s still a Volume 1 kinda thing (very basic setup help), but for people just starting learning this stuff it can make a world of difference for the first fifty designs or so. Also included are some shirt layouts that my friend Noah and I made. Check it out.

On Easter, TNL had a local photo booth business, Juicy Booth came out and take fun Easter pics of our congregation. My sister and I never miss an opportunity to take this awesome Pocahontas eagle picture, and with little to no effort, we’ve found our Christmas card. What an awesome day.

what a fun blog post. see you in a bit.

Lent is coming up and everyone is asking what i’m taking up or giving up, and i hadn’t known until last night. I prodded my brain to see what i do too much of. I don’t have an abundance of clothes or fancy things, and i don’t spend too much money (though i suppose you can always spend less).

I found I don’t waste much, and i rarely consume more than my fair share of anything. I can easily live without TV, Facebook, or an iPhone (i have a samsung smooth, so no worries there), and i don’t need to lose weight (total lie). so i kept thinking, “why don’t i have any time for my friends, why don’t have have any time for fellowship with God?” Then, it came to me.

I work too much. (cue the rest of the world yelling ‘duh, dan’)

I have been at my office every weekday until at the earliest 2am for the past six months, i’d say. In that time i’ve produced an incredible amount of work, but i have also lost what semblance of abs i had (har har) and i’ve become what i would say is “addicted” to producing. I’ve had a to-do list since about november, and it just keeps getting longer.

So.
For lent I’m going to start saying “no.”

No new work for 40 days while i clean up my to-do list. I’ve got a few things that will keep me working like a dog, but with an end in sight, i’ll be able to start doing things with people (yeah, people!). Also, i’ll have more time for art, which has been on the back burner for quite some time. So, by saying “no” more often, i’ll be able to do more work i love. Crazy concept to mr. dan garza.

Oh, Here are the last three posters i’ve done. i realized these weren’t up here, and they don’t exactly feel like “portfolio material” until i print em, so i thought a blog post might be nice.

Have a good Lent season (if that’s what you do).

<3

I added a JQuery accordion script to the page & and a random image grabber for the home page. the accordions were actually the hardest part, because the platform is older, it can’t take advantage of the new JQuery editions unless you manually update them. i might write a few plugins for people because the developer base is actually quite slim, and i had to do some code chop and screwin to existing plugins to get this one working right.

Seems like everyone has a plugin that is so close, but not cohesive, so the forums are just ABLAZE with people looking for help. If a dev (read: me) were to spend some more time on documentation (and let the plugins be what they can be) the indexhibit community could really benefit from it.

Check out emma’s site, and if you’re into photography/other beautiful things, check out her blog, too.

One of my goals for this next couple of months is to stop copy & pasting and buckle down and learn how PHP works, and how to blind write it. there is an immense satisfaction with blind coding HTML/CSS, so I imagine doing the same with a programming language would be just as satisfying.

Admittedly it’s been a difficult road to choose which of my passions i will ultimately head in. I love the freedom of design and i love the beauty of development. I suppose i’ll have to decide one day, but i can’t think about that right now; i’ve got too much work to do.

Anyways, this is another mini update. There are three more projects on the work page.

i think i will continue to do these mini-updates in sets of three to keep my portfolio fresh. all three of these are web dev work, and each have very different utilization of WordPress.

Next up are websites for Lab Se7en, TNL Church and Justin Matott.

Sometimes my friends ask me to “whip some stuff up.” Here are a few designs i made in a few nights. Some awesome Hydro74 fonts and Collision Theory vector packs at work here.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about the concept of “good enough” lately. I want everything i do to be something i could put in my portfolio, but sometimes people don’t need 10+ hours of design work. they need a few “quickies” with vector packs and the avant garde alts. I feel like some level of disconnect is necessary on any level of for-client design, but sometimes i can feel myself wanting to pour hours and hours into the concepts i’m given. It’s a strange battle us creative professionals are in.

There are three new projects on the work page. I’m pleased to say as winter comes closer and closer, my to do list is getting smaller and smaller. I’ve got a few websites to build and then it’s 100% into the vector site & overhauling some of my old sites. Maybe i’ll find some time to play in the snow and eat some holiday feasts. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

cheers.

I would skip spanish II to update my Livejournal from the school library. At the time it was incredibly important to have a super styled-out blog, so I started “learning” (what are now deprecated) HTML elements and (barely acceptable) CSS. I had no concept of the internet, and I’m pretty sure the first time I got an “a href” working I called my mom downstairs to the family office to see.

I guess I couldn’t of known someday in the future I would look back in embarrassment, but I guess we all have to start somewhere. I guess that is what this post is about; starting.

I started designing in 2005. I mean, I guess if I could call chopping up “Wingdings” font in a pirated version of Photoshop 7 “designing.” My first shirt design featured a narwhal busting open a hot air balloon while snowflakes fell to the right. I would wager my next paycheck that it was in 72 dpi, and that I used the paint bucket, but somehow they got printed.

Over the next two years or so I learned silkscreen printing from a friend who was the first person to call me “his” designer. I remember the first design I sold to a local band around denver, and learning that the quickest way to sell out of merch is to print yellow on sapphire Gildan shirts. (Of The Wolves broke up eventually, but I still have the shirt in my closet.)

Some time went by, and as I got comfortable in Photoshop, I felt like I had really started. I was 20 or so and my computer was a old school Alienware tower (that doubled as a end table and keyboard stand) set up in a friends apartment. I figure at that point I hadn’t really had the time or means to learn the differences between raster & vector graphics. I then met Brandon Proff, who would change my entire world by introducing me to a little program called Illustrator.

I remember being in awe the first time I watched Brandon work with vectors. I think I asked him something like “Is that the new Photoshop?” because I didn’t recognize any of the tools and I wanted to seem cool. He laughed and proceeded to give me a short crash course on vectors and the beauty of scalability. Shortly after he sold me his old G4 Powerbook. As I tried my hand at the mountainous learning curve of Illustrator, I again felt like I was finally starting to learn something important. (Thanks again Brandon, I will always credit you with an enormous amount of my growth)

Not long after that, I met up with my now-great-friend Noah Cremisino, who took me under his wing at Lab Se7en, a screen printing press in Denver. I was finally blessed to learn screen printing the right way, and after about six months of overusing my fair share of splatter vector packs, Lab Se7en took me on full time. Noah eventually left Colorado for the entirely more beautiful New Zealand, and I became Art Director at Lab Se7en. (I miss you Noah, come back and see us sometime!)

In looking back I’ve learned that to be an effective designer I have to forget the idea that I have “arrived,” and grow comfortable with “just starting.” The launch of this site is no different; I’m sure in time I will grow tired of every feature I am currently excited about, but for now, I am happy to have the opportunity to start.

Truthfully, writing this is another reminder that while launching this little website is a way for me to represent my work, I have an enormous amount of people to thank for helping me along the way to “starting.”

Please visit a link or two on the sidebar, every person there has inspired me in some way.

Thank you, reader of this post, for joining me for my Launch/Lunch party.